Cocoa takes a moment to speak frankly with his readers.

Today everyone, we are going to do things a little bit differently.  I thought I would impart some of my incredible knowledge for all of you to share, learn and grow.  So pick up your catnip (coffee for the human pets), lay down the cat toy (newspaper for the human pets) and listen (or read) up:

1. Never, never, never let your human pets know that you love them.  This is a bad habit that will become an item that is taken for granted--humans, if your pet shows love to you, don't forget what they are giving up for you!
2. Take your freedom casually on the outside but celebrate it on the inside--humans, cats are not supposed to let you know how they feel, they are supposed to keep you guessing.
3. Make sure you are always showing your pets how hungry you are, even if you aren't--humans it is necessary for the felines of the world to keep themselves stuffed to the brim in preparation for any hard times that may come their way.
4. Be sure to leave your scent on everything that comes into the house so that everyone knows it is yours by default--humans, cats must tell other cats who is boss so they must put their mark on everything.
5. Sleep long, sleep well, sleep often-humans, it is necessary for felines to get as much sleep as possible because they must keep up their energy for possible dangers (or new toys).