That darn red light.

"Dear Cocoa,

Help me, I'm addicted!  My pet recently brought this funny little metal contraption home.  Curious, I sniffed it and found it to be something I didn't want--until they turned this thing on!!!!  Suddenly a little red bug began to race around me in wide circles.  It raced up furniture and even ran across the ceiling several times.  I tried to ignore it, but it raced around me and then away from me and then back again.  Before I knew what I was doing I was chasing this thing everywhere.  The worst part, however, was when I caught it the thing just slid away from me and on the chase went.  Finally, exhausted, I tried to ignore it, but it is so tempting to chase that little bitty bug and do my very best to catch it.  Now, whenever that silly little metal contraption comes out, I find myself going crazy trying to catch it.  Can you help me?

Signed Exhausted by the Little Red Dot"

"Dear Exhausted by the Little Red Dot,

I know how tempting that little red dot can be; however, if you ever want to be free of its claws, you must run to a dark hole and hide until the little red dot is gone.  I warn you, this can be dangerously addictive and no feline is immune.  If you don't want to be chasing this thing for the remainder of your days (without catching it ever), then hide, hide, hide!  Don't look at the light!  Ignore it!  Use all of your will power and get away before it....catches....you....oh darn, now I'm hooked again.....Rotten Light-GET OUT OF HERE.  Sorry, got carried away.  I wish you all the luck in the world, my friend, that little light is hard to ignore.

Signed Cocoa"