Cat wants out...

"Dear Cocoa,

I am an elderly feline with a lot of years of experience behind me.  I was recently captured by humans and put in a home (how degrading) with several other felines who are much younger than I.  I do not want to dominate; however I am older, wiser, and more qualified than the others.  My problem is this:  How do I get the younger felines to acknowledge my superior intellect and How Do I Get Out Of This House And Back Outside?  I hope you can help me.

Signed Wants Out"

"Dear Wants Out,

The younger generation has no respect for their elders; sad, but true.  They will not come to you for answers because they feel they know it all and don't need anyone to 'educate' them.  I would ignore them completely (since they will effectively ignore your knowledge).  As far as leaving the home, you might want to reconsider that point.  As an older feline you are most likely suffering from aches and pains which slow you down a bit.  The older you get the harder it will be to catch your own food.  Being in a home with pets to care for you means they will be giving you your food and water and they will provide a warm bed where you can sleep whenever you want to.  If, after that advice, you still want out, try resting close to the door.  When one of the humans (especially the young ones) opens the door, scoot out before they can catch you.  Good Luck!

Signed Cocoa"