Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Pets are always picking me up, cries a feline in trouble.


“Dear Cocoa,

My pets are somewhat strange, but they feed me well and I can play all I want.  The problem that I have is that my pets never let me sleep.  Every time I find a warm cozy spot to curl up in and finally start to relax and doze off, my pets swoop in and pick me up--and they aren’t nice about it, either.  They just grab and swing me up and over their shoulder and begin to bounce me up and down with such force I have nearly (nearly mind you) lost my latest meal.  How can I stop this behavior?

Signed Sick of It”

“Dear Sick of It,

You must hear me out before you get angry, my friend, because your pets are only trying to incorporate you into family functions.  They do not realize how much sleep is required by a feline to maintain their gorgeous beauty.  There are a few things you can try, however pets don’t learn very well, so you must be patient.  First, try losing your meal on their back.  I know this will make you hungry again, but if you do it enough, they won’t want to pick you up anymore.  Next, if that one doesn’t work, try scratching and growling when they pick you up.  If neither of those tactics work, you will have to get, well, un-feline-like and race away as soon as you sense them approaching.  Then find a real deep hiding hole and remain there for a nice loooong nap.  If you do that several times, they will begin to think you are afraid of them (I know we are never afraid, but we have to appear to be) and they will leave you alone.  Good luck in your efforts…

Signed Cocoa”

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