“Dear Cocoa,
My pets are somewhat
strange, but they feed me well and I can play all I want. The problem that I have is that my pets never
let me sleep. Every time I find a warm
cozy spot to curl up in and finally start to relax and doze off, my pets swoop
in and pick me up--and they aren’t nice about it, either. They just grab and swing me up and over their
shoulder and begin to bounce me up and down with such force I have nearly
(nearly mind you) lost my latest meal.
How can I stop this behavior?
Signed Sick of It”
“Dear Sick of It,
You must hear me out
before you get angry, my friend, because your pets are only trying to
incorporate you into family functions.
They do not realize how much sleep is required by a feline to maintain
their gorgeous beauty. There are a few
things you can try, however pets don’t learn very well, so you must be
patient. First, try losing your meal on
their back. I know this will make you
hungry again, but if you do it enough, they won’t want to pick you up
anymore. Next, if that one doesn’t work,
try scratching and growling when they pick you up. If neither of those tactics work, you will
have to get, well, un-feline-like and race away as soon as you sense them
approaching. Then find a real deep
hiding hole and remain there for a nice loooong nap. If you do that several times, they will begin
to think you are afraid of them (I know we are never afraid, but we have to
appear to be) and they will leave you alone.
Good luck in your efforts…
Signed Cocoa”
