Saturday, March 30, 2013

Cocoa answers another question.....

"Dear Cocoa,

I am a bit embarrassed to ask this; but I don't know any other way.  You see my pet has a way of petting me that causes me to give in every time!  I can't fight it; I even purr!  Can you help me?  I need to reassert myself as an independent feline before I am past all hope!

Signed Nearly Past All Hope"

"Dear Nearly Past All Hope,

Hang onto your feline card, my friend, you have not lost your fight.  You see, the whole idea is to win
our pets over so they don't think we own them; when you give in to your pets, you make them think they are in charge and they tend to spoil you more.  So, sit (or lay) back, relax, and let your pet have their way.  Once they are done, you can get up and go assert your authority about other things.

Signed Cocoa"

Monday, March 25, 2013

New baby in the house

"Dear Cocoa,

I love reading your column and have gotten some excellent advice about everyday things; however, I now have a problem of my own that I was hoping you could fix.  You see, I am a 'well-rounded' feline with lots of experience years behind me.  Yesterday I was presented with an intruder in my home and I find that the intruder is pampered and fed more than me.  What's more, he has been given MY bed to sleep in!  I have told my pets time and again that this type of behavior is inexcusable; but, for some strange reason, they are not listening to me anymore.  The intruder is small and seems to be helpless so I could fight it for territory; however, I feel deep down inside, that my pets would not agree with that process.

Signed Hoping You Can Help"

"Dear Hoping You Can Help,

I fear you have been subjected to the 'new baby in the house syndrome'.  You see, when we felines get older we tend to want to sleep more and play less (thus our 'well-rounded' appearance).  This makes our pets upset because they love to play with us (of course they would).  Thinking that the problem is loneliness, our pets often decide to introduce another into the household.  If the new one was older, you could easily fight to exert your authority.  However, if the new one is a baby, well.........  Bear with your pets for a bit (a day or so ought to do the trick) and then they will grow tired of the baby's demands.  You can then begin to 'train' the little one as to the order and behavior expected from him.

Signed Cocoa"

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Cocoa tries to be sympathetic....

"Dear Cocoa,

As a pure bred feline, I don't usually slum it; however, I felt that this particular situation should be addressed at once.  As I lounge in my enclosed backyard with multiple fountains of fresh water and plenty of soft hammocks, I see many things, but this one thing is intolerable.  Felines, skinny, dirty AND of mixed heritage have the nerve to come right up to my enclosure and shout insults at me.  How dare they even think that they have the right to do such a thing.  One particularly large male even suggested I should come out and join him for a night of fun!  This must end or I will be forced to remain indoors for the remainder of my life.  So, Cocoa, being one of THEM, would you straighten out this situation?

Signed Pure Blood"

"Dear Pure Blood,

While I sympathize with you on your situation, I find it hard to believe that felines of my background (and heritage) would behave in such a manner.  Are you certain that the felines are not pure bred?  After all, the pure breds are the ones who always fancy themselves better than other breeds.  Sorry that I can't help you further.

Signed Cocoa"