Cocoa addresses the giant water bowl of our pets--

“Dear Cocoa,

I am confused.  Why do pets constantly climb into a giant water bowl and actually get themselves soaking wet.  I have even seen my pet stand under a rain that they seem to know how to make inside the giant water bowl.  Why do they do this?  Is it some type of ritual?  When I try to climb into my water bowl they get angry and shoo me away, so why would they climb into their own?  Oh, I just can’t figure it out.  Please help me!

Signed Confused about Water Bowls”

“Dear Confused about Water Bowls,

Don’t stress the small stuff as my Grandmother used to say.  Pets have very weird behavioral patterns that experts have not yet defined.  However, the belief is that they are still suffering from childhood-stress-syndrome and use the water to remind them of their mother bathing them.  This is not proven 100%, however the experts do lean heavily in favor of this explanation.  If another comes around, I will be happy to send it on to you.  In the meantime, just stay out of their way when they get into the giant water bowl because they might take a fit in their delirium and pull you in with them.  Careful is best when it comes to this syndrome.

Good luck,

Signed Cocoa”

Cocoa has been away from his desk because of personal issues, but he is back and raring to go.

“Dear Cocoa,

I have been trying to get my pets to get me more treats, but they don’t seem to understand the language.  How do I get the message across loud and clear?

Signed Having Difficulty With Communication”

“Dear Having Difficulty With Communication,

As with any pet, they don’t speak the same language.  In fact, they have a tendency to believe (take a deep breath because I know you won’t believe this), but they tend to believe they are in charge!  Sometimes we just can’t seem to get the message across no matter what we do.  However, there are a few ways to let your pets know that you are unhappy and they will usually attempt to get things to change the mood you are displaying.  One--leave smelly gifts on their pillows for them to find when they go to bed.  Two--after drinking your fill of water, be sure to tip the bowl so the rest covers the floor.  Three--lay about the floor all day without playing or even showing signs of being interested in anything.  This is a hard one, but it rarely fails.  Your pet will try anything to get you back to the active life you usually lead.  Of course, if you aren’t usually active, this tactic may not work for you. 

Good luck with your communicating,

Signed Cocoa”

Cocoa answers a very deep and disturbing question about a pet.

“Dear Cocoa,

My pet has become very mean and snappy of late.  He shoves me out of the way with his foot (it used to be a cuddle and a pet); he yells at me even when I am innocently lying on the warm TV (I was sorry about the plant, but he knew it was my spot); he even refused to share our favorite dessert--vanilla ice cream with whipped cream and anchovies.  I am at my wits end. 

Am I doomed to leave what used to be a wonderful home and search elsewhere?

Signed Worried Feline”

“Dear Worried Feline,

Your pet is probably depressed.  Has something happened recently?  Perhaps he is staying home a lot more (fun for you but he might not be making the grade when it comes to getting you top eats).  Perhaps some bad news has come his way, if so he would be crying (that means drops of water would drop from his face).  Perhaps he is just not feeling well (I know you can usually tell, but they can sometimes fool you).  I do not want to tell you to leave a great home such as yours, but you may, in the end, have to give up your pet and seek another with a better attitude.

Try to cuddle him more: get into his lap even when he is eating, share his drinks with him, rub between his legs while he is walking to let him know you love him.  Lastly, make sure you leave plenty of gifts around for him to find-that will surely let him know that you are thinking of him.  If none of these remedies work, well, sadly you may have to give up, but don’t quit too soon.

Signed Cocoa”

Do you have a question about cats and their pets?  Be sure to contact Cocoa.  He will be happy to answer even your toughest questions. 

Although this blog is for humorous purposes, serious questions will be answered using the best sources available.  If you have a true question about cats and their behaviors, please feel free to contact me at this e-mail.  I will get back to you as soon as possible with an answer.

Would you believe that Cocoa has a Father?

Cocoa’s father, a gruff Tom with power and prestige in the feline world, has agreed to do a one-on-one interview with Cocoa, in honor of Father's Day, to benefit all of those cats out there who haven’t found the correct pet as yet. 

Mr. Black

Cocoa:  So, what type of cat are you, Mr. Black?

Mr. Black:  I’m the best there is.  I have it all.  Siamese, Blue Point, Maine Coon, Long-Haired, Short-Haired and everything in-between.  That’s what helps me stay alive out here!

Cocoa:  Stay alive?  Perhaps you could explain that statement for my readers.

Mr. Black:  Well, living outside is great, as I’m sure you all know; however, there are many dangers that you have to be aware of and being a part of all those cats gives me the edge I need to avoid all of those dangers.

Cocoa:  What types of dangers are there?

Mr. Black:  Well, cars, of course, and baby-pets, they can be very dangerous.  There is the water, I once saw a buddy of mine swept clean away in a fast moving water.  Then there is the danger of dogs, always something to be on the look-out for; and food.  Food doesn’t sit all day waiting for you to eat it, you know, you have to catch it before you can eat.  Some of those rats and such are getting too smart for their own good and catching dinner can sometimes be a real difficult, and hungry, task. 

Cocoa:  Oh, I was not aware of all of those dangers.  Are there any good things out there?

Mr. Black:  Of course, why do you think I like it so much; see, I don’t have to share my food with anyone if I don’t want to; and I don’t have to share my sleeping quarters with anyone, either.  I can find the absolute best sleeping places that are warm, cozy, dry, and filled with bugs I can snack on while I rest or wait out a storm.  I don’t have to worry about where I jump or sit or stand, either.  Where I go is my business.

Cocoa:  But what about the cold and wet weather?  Doesn’t that get to you?

Mr. Black:  Nah, I got places I can go that will keep me safe from bad storms.  Get’s a bit wet and muddy trying to get there, and cold in the winter, but I can kinda feel a storm commin’ and I usually make my way there long before the storm hits.

Cocoa:  That is fascinating, Mr. Black.  Any last parting advice for my readers before we say good-bye?

Mr. Black:  You betcha!  Any of you pampered fur-balls ever want a real adventure, you just slip out of that safe haven you got and come find me.  I’ll show you what being outside is really like!

Cocoa:  Well, thank you, Mr. Black.  And Good-bye everyone, from Cocoa’s Pet Blog.

Trouble in Paradise?????

“Dear Cocoa,

My pets have been my exclusive servants for about 5 years now.  I have my own bed, a window bed, a bathroom that is cleaned daily, and my own food is the best there is and the water is filtered.  I have been in heaven.  However, 2 days ago my pets did something horrible.  They brought a stranger into my home and let him eat my food, drink my water and use my things.  I was furious, to say the least, but when I tried to warn him off, my pets put me in a cage and left me there while this stranger ripped all my stuff apart.  I fear it is time to hit the road.  What do you suggest, Cocoa?

Signed Getting Ready to Travel”

“Dear Getting Ready to Travel,

Unfortunately, our sweet cuddly looks and pleasant demeanor cause our pets to want more than one of us in their presence.  How could you blame them, really?  However, it does sometimes cause a bit of trouble since he/she would have to use your things which have been yours from the beginning.  You didn’t tell me how old the stranger is so I am guessing he is rather young.  Wait until the pets are out of the way (in bed, or off to work) and then lay down the law!  You will, unfortunately, have to share many of your things with him, but the newness will wear off quickly and he will settle down to a more sedate temperament.  If he continues to step on your toes, make sure you are strict and forceful.  Even if it gets you put in the cage, you will win soon enough as the new guy begins to get overactive and begins breaking the rules more openly. 

Hope all works out for you, but you can always try to leave and find another pet who will want only you.  I wouldn’t suggest it though, times being what they are and all.

Signed Cocoa”

Cage Fright

“Dear Cocoa,

I have been terrified ever since my pets forced me into a cage and dragged me to see some guy in a weird coat who stuck me with pins and put cold things on my belly and back.  I was not only terrified of the guy but of the funny things he was putting on me.  I don’t want to go back there.  What can I do to prevent them from doing this horrid thing to me again?

Signed Afraid”

“Dear Afraid,

My pets have often done the same thing to me.  It seems to be some type of ritual where they are trying to teach us who is boss.  There are a few things you can do to prevent these trips:  first, you can find a really good hiding place once the cage comes out; second, you can scratch and bite your pet really hard to let them know they are doing wrong; third, you can bite and scratch the stranger that they bring you to.  These things don’t actually stop them from taking you, but I have found that they do reduce the number of times you will be brought there.

Good luck in trying to stay clear of the cage.

Signed Cocoa”

It’s Play Time?

“Dear Cocoa,

I read your blog every morning and love the answers you give because they are sooo right.  I never thought I would be writing you about anything since my pets are so well behaved.  However, the other day they invited a new little pet into the house and I thought it would be nice to introduce myself.  That new pet wailed so loudly that it nearly broke my ear drums.  I tried again and this time my pet tossed me on the floor and….are you ready for this…yelled at me!  I was only trying to play with the new addition.  I am angry now and don’t really know how to handle this difficult situation.  I fear I may have to abandon my pets and move on to a better area.

Signed Angry Cat”

“Dear Angry Cat,

I wouldn’t pack up just yet.  I believe what you have is a kitten, or what the pets call a baby.  They are loud, obnoxious, and rude until they get a little older and learn how to play.  I would just bide my time until the kitten (pet baby) has grown some and then try your luck again.  You will find that the kitten will be much more playful once it starts to move around on its own. 

Good luck to you,

Signed Cocoa”

The year is 2012. The time is 10 AM. The place is Cocoa’s office. The players are Cocoa and a large gray angora-like cat called Dusty. The game is revenge!

Dusty:  Mr. Cocoa, I desperately need your help.

Dusty, The Victim

Cocoa:  What can I do for you Mr. Dusty, or may I call you Dusty.

Dusty:  Dusty is fine.  I’m in trouble; big trouble.

Cocoa:  Well, I can’t help you unless you give me some facts.

Dusty:  I, uh, I was rail-roaded by, oh it’s too embarrassing…

Cocoa:  Come, come, Dusty, we’re adults here.

 
Dusty:  Yes, you’re right, I was rail-roaded by a cute cuddly kitten that could be my twin, smaller twin.  She has wormed her way into the house-hold favor and I can’t get a word in edgewise.  What do I do? 


Shadow, The Kitten

Cocoa:  Well, let’s see.  If she could be your twin, why not do something bad, and let her take the blame?

Dusty:  Oh, I like that, Cocoa.  Yes, I like that a lot. 

Cocoa:  Let me know how it turns out.

Dusty (the next day with a paw in a sling):  Cocoa, I did as you said; I was real bad and I let the kitten take the blame; but that lousy Salty dimed me out and I got tossed on my rump.

Cocoa:  Is that where you got the arm injury?

Dusty:  No, that came from the kitten, who later came up to me and attacked.  The others in the household defending the kitten and not letting me fight back!

It's a bath letter.

Cocoa knows all when it comes to pets.

Cocoa has received more letters than he can read in one day; however he is doing his best to read each and every one of them, though not all will be answered here.  Cocoa does have an email that he will gladly send answers to you in private if you prefer.  On to today’s letter:

“Dear Cocoa,

My pet has begun a strange habit and I’m not sure how to break him of it.  He decided that I needed a bath every week and he has been tossing me in his tub with him.  I get covered in bubbles and smelly soaps and my eyes sting and I can’t get the smell off of me for days, not to mention how long it takes me to get dry. 

Please help me.

Signed Soaked and Mad”

“Dear Soaked and Mad,

Your pet seems to feel you have developed an odor about you that he dislikes; and, as all pets will, he is trying to rid you of the smell.  If the smell is natural, then feel free to use your claws to tell the pet you don’t want to be in the water.  If the smell is from something you have been lying in, perhaps you might change your sleeping and resting habits a bit.  Of course, if all else fails, remember to dry yourself off on his favorite chair or his bed pillows.  That never fails to stop the baths! 

Good luck to you,

Signed Cocoa”